Life Update

This weekend marked my first free weekend in over four months. No shoots booked, no commitments, NOTHING. I’m busy soaking up my last few weeks here in Chattanooga, so Tom and I decided to devote our weekend to doing Tennessee things. Like, you know, going to swimming holes. And stuff.

After a quick stop by Dub’s Place…

Our first sign that we should’ve turned around and decided to forgo the trip was finding out {the hard way} that our new pup, Weevil, gets carsick on mountain roads combined with Tom’s driving. Two miles before arrival, Weevil projectile vomits every piece of food he’s eaten in the…oh, let’s say…3 weeks onto the floorboard of Tom’s truck. ENSUE MELTDOWN. Tom starts yelling and saying rude things about Weevil, which, in turn, causes ME to start yelling about what a horrible father he’s going to make, which causes him to yell about how loud I’m being, which causes me to start yelling about how HE STARTED IT. And so forth.

After Tom apologized and we disposed of the…vomit…in the parking lot of a church, we decide we’ve come too far to turn around.

Fast forward ten minutes, and we find ourselves on the bank of the swimming hole.

Being attacked.

By two chihuahuas. Not even purebred chihuahuas. Like, chi-weenies, or something.

“BANDIT! BANDIT! GET YO’ LOUD AZZ OVA HERE AND STOP BARKING AT DEM YOUNGUNS”

Now, I am from south Georgia. I have been around hoodlums, rednecks, delinquents…Heck, I can roll with the best of them. OR SO I THOUGHT. But the  group that is posted up in the middle of the swimming hole? “My stars,” as my grandma would say.

Still not letting these setbacks deter us, Tom enters the water. AND PROMPTLY FALLS. I immediately double over in laughter, while he says mean things and starts pouting. After making sure he was okay (nothing but a bruised ego), he attempts to enter the swimming hole again. AND FALLS A SECOND TIME. Literally, I can’t hold it together anymore. And neither can the delinquent crowd next to us. They’re laughing, I’m sobbing in laughter, and Tom’s soaked to the bone. Not laughing”

Tom decides to stay out of the water and sit quietly on a rock with Weevil, the water-fearing Beagle, and Aphid. As I’m apologizing for my laughter and, once again, making sure he’s okay, Tom starts pointing. I look behind me. A small child has picked up my camera and is burying it in the sand. After I kick the child in the face   calmly explain to the child that my camera is, indeed, not a toy, the small child ventures over to Tom and strikes up a conversation.

This is mere SECONDS before the child told Tom he was “going pee” in the water.

If you look closely, in the left hand side, you’ll see the Tennessee backwoodz banditz.

The remaining half-hour of our trip was spent talking about peach moonshine, methamphetamine, “red nose” vs. “blue nose” pit bulls, snake handling, and deer-lights for 2003 Ford trucks. I swear to you, I am not making ANY of this up. By the look on Tom’s face, I can tell he’s had enough. We drive safely back to my cozy, downtown apartment, swearing off nature for a few days, and treat ourselves to a completely over-priced steak dinner.

ALSO ON THE AGENDA THIS WEEKEND: Our Duck Tour.

I’ve seen these contraptions around town for the past few months, and on a whim, Tom and I decided to try it out. Basically, a boat that can drive on land. Unfortunately, this was the only shot I got at a self-portrait inside the Duck. We didn’t look like goobs at all…

ALSO.

As of today, I’ve acquired the most precious little farmhouse in the countryside of Perry. I’ll be surrounded by people I know, close to those I love, working 3 jobs that I adore, and there’s room for the pups to galavant around. And even a barn, for that horse I’ve been dreaming about since I was five. Really, but not really. I’m not getting a horse.

Only a herd of chickens. Maybe a goat.

So, there you have it. That’s what’s going on. I’ll just leave you here with this adorableness wrapped in my bathrobe.

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5 thoughts on “Life Update

  1. Ah! I finally get to see the house! I love it!! I can’t wait to see it! Maybe soon I will own a farmhouse too and we can have a blast decorating our old homes with antiques!

  2. Molly, you know you’re welcome anytime. I’ll probably be begging you to come over when I hear a noise late at night or something…

    Lindsey, I’m so glad you like it! Maybe you can come see it after our photoshoot! Antique shopping is a must.

    Jana, It is! Mr. Al decided to sell it this year after the Faircloths moved out. I’m completely smitten with it! Kristin and Ben lived there, too, several years back.

  3. Seriously, the best post you’ve written. I was literally dying while reading about your friends at the swimming hole. You have a way with attracting some in-ter-est-ing people. So happy for you, friend. Come home soon. Love you!

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